雅思英语写作技巧:写好段落的三个标准
2014-12-25 16:24:08留学网整理
首先,一个段落必须有一个中心即主题思想,该中心由主题句特别是其中的题旨来表达。整个段落必须紧扣这个主题(stickorholdtothetopic),这就是段落的统一性(unity)。其次,一个段落必须有若干推展句,使主题思想得到充分展开,从而给读者一个完整的感觉,这就是完整性(completenessoradequateness)。再者,一个段落不是杂乱无章的,而是有机的组合,句子的排列顺序必须合乎逻辑,从一个句子到另一个句子的过渡必须流畅(smooth),这就是连贯性(coherence)。下面我们就对这三个标准分别加以说明。
1、统一性
一个段落内的各个句子必须从属于一个中心,任何游离于中心思想之外的句子都是不可取的。请看下例:
JoeandIdecidedtotakethelongtripwe’dalwayswantedacrossthecountry。Wewerelikeyoungkidsbuyingourcamperandstockingitwithallthenecessitiesoflife。Bellabakesthebestrhubarbpie。WestartedoutinearlyspringfromMinneapolisandheadedwestacrossthenorthernpartofthecountry。Webothenjoyedthosepeoplewemetatthetrailerpark。Joereceivedawatchathisretirementdinner。Tooursurprise,wefoundthatwelikedthewarmsouthernregionsverymuch,andsowedecidedtostayhereinNewMexico。
本段的主题句是段首句,controllingidea(中心思想)是takethelongtripacrossthecountry。文中出现两个irrelevantsentences,一个是Bellabakesthebestrhubarbpie,这一段是讲的是JoeandI,中间出现一个Bella是不合适的。还有,Joereceivedawatchathisretirementdinner这一句更是与主题句不相关。考生在四级统考的作文卷上常常因为造出irrelevantsentences(不相关语句)而丢分,值得引起注意。再看一个例子:
MynameisRoseanna,andIliketokeepphysicallyfit。Iusedtoweightwohundredpounds,butIjoinedtheYMCAforanexerciseclassanddietprogram。InoneyearIlosteightypounds。Ifeelmuchbetterandneverwanttohavethatmuchweightonmyfive-feetframeagain。Iboughttwonewsuitcaseslastweek。EverydayIpracticejoggingthreemiles,swimmingfifteenlaps,liftingtwenty-poundweightsandplayingtennisforonehour。Mymotherwasaprematurebaby。
本段的controllingidea是liketodeepphysicallyfit,但段中有两个irrelevantsentences,一个是Iboughttwonewsuitcaseslastweek,另一个是Mymotherwasaprematurebaby。
从上面两个例子可以看出,nativespeakers同样会造出来irrelevantsentences。卷面上如果这种句子多了,造成偏题或离题,那问题就更严重了。
2、完整性
正象我们前面说得那样,一个段落的主题思想靠推展句来实现,如果只有主题句而没有推展句来进一步交待和充实,就不能构成一个完整的段落。同样,虽然有推展句,但主题思想没有得到相对圆满的交待,给读者一种意犹未尽的感觉。这样的段落也不能完成其交际功能。例如:
Physicalworkcanbeausefulformoftherapyforamindinturmoil。Workconcentratesyourthoughtsonaconcretetask。Besides,itismoreusefultowork----youproducesomethingratherthanmoreanxietyordepression。
本段的主题句是段首句。本段的两个推展句均不能回答主题句中提出的问题。什么是"amindinturmoil"(心境不平静)Physicalwork又如何能改变这种情况?为什么它能起therapy的作用?读者得不到明确的答案。
由于四级统考的作文部分只要求写一篇100~120个词的三段式短文,每一段只有大约40个词左右,因此,要达到完整就必须尽可能地简明。例如:
Itisnotalwaystruethatagoodpictureisworthathousandwords。Oftenwritingismuchclearerthanapicture。Itissometimesdifficulttofigureoutwhatapicturemeans,butacarefulwritercanalmostalwaysexplainit。
段首句所表达的主题思想是一种看法,必须有具体事例加以验证。上述两个推展句只是在文字上对主题作些解释,整个段落内容空洞,简而不明。如果用一两个具体的例子的话,就可以把主题解释清楚了。比如下段:
Itisnotalwaystruethatapictureisworthathousandwords。Sometimes,picturesareprettyuselessthings。Ifyoucan’tswimandfallintheriverandstartgulpingwater,willyoubebetteroffto
bsp;holdupapictureofyourselfdrowning,orstartscreaming"Help"?
3、连贯性(coherence)
连贯性包括意连和形连两个方面,前者指的是内在的逻辑性,后者指的是使用转换词语。当然这两者常常是不可分割的。只有形连而没有意连,句子之间就没有内在的有机的联系;反之,只有意连而没有形连,有时行文就不够流畅。
1)意连
段落中句子的排列应遵循一定的次序,不能想到什么就写什么。如果在下笔之前没有构思,边写边想,写写停停,那就写不出一气呵成的好文章来。下面介绍几种常见的排列方式。
A。按时间先后排列(chronologicalarrangement)
Wehadanumberofclosecallsthatday。Whenwerose,itwasobviouslylateandwehadtohurrysoasnottomissbreakfast;weknewthediningroomstaffwasstrictaboutclosingatnineo’clock。Then,whenwehadbeendrivinginthedesertfornearlytwohours-----itmusthavebeenclosetonoon----theheatnearlyhidusin;theradiatorboiledoverandwehadtousemostofourdrinkingwatertocoolitdown。Bythetimewereachedthemountain,itwasfouro’clockandwewereexhausted。Here,judgementranoutofusandwestartedthetoughclimbtothesummit,notrealizingthatdarknesscamesuddenlyinthedesert。Sureenough,bysixwewerestrugglingandAndrewverynearlywentdownasteepcliff,draggingMohammedandmealongwithhim。Bynine,whenthewindhowledacrosstheflatledgeofthesummit,weknewasweshiveredtogetherforwarmththatithadnotbeenourluckyday。
本段从"rose"(起床)写起,然后是吃早餐("nottomissbreakfast","closingatnineo’clock"),然后是"closetonoon",一直写到这一天结束("Bynine--")。
B。按位置远近排列(spatialarrangement)。例如:
Fromadistance,itlookedlikeaskinnytube,butaswegotcloser,wecouldseeitfleshoutbeforeoureyes。Itwastubular,allright,butfatterthanwecouldseefromfaraway。Furthermore,wewerealsoastonishedtonoticethatthebuildingwasreallyintwoparts:apagodasittingontopofatubularone-storystructure。Standingtenfeetaway,wecouldmarvelathowmuchofthepagodawasmadeupofglasswindows。AlmosteverythingunderthewonderfulChineseroofwasmadeofglass,unlikethetubethatitwassittingon,whichonlyhadfour。Inside,thetubewasgloomy,becauseofthelackoflight。Thenasteep,narrowstaircasetookusupinsidethepagodaandthelightchangeddramatically。Allthosewindowsletinafloodofsunshineandwecouldseeoutformilesacrosstheflatland。
本段的写法是由远及近,从远处("fromadistance")写起,然后"getcloser",再到("tenfeetaway"),最后是"insidethepagoda"……当然,按位置远近来写不等于都是由远及近。根据需要,也可以由近及远,由表及里等等。
C。按逻辑关系排列(logicalarrangement)
a。按重要性顺序排列(arrangementinsgroupsofimportance)
Ifyouworkasasodajerker,youwill,ofcourse,notneedmuchskillinexpressingyourselftobeeffective。Ifyouworkonamachine,yourabilitytoexpressyourselfwillbeoflittleimportance。Butassoonasyoumoveonestepupfromthebottom,youreffectivenessdependsonyourabilitytoreachothersthroughthespokenorthewrittenword。Andthefu
rtherawayyourjobisfrommanualwork,thelargertheorganizationofwhichyouareanemployee,themoreimportantitwillbethatyouknowhowtoconveyyourthoughtsinwritingorspeaking。Intheverylargebusinessorganization,whetheritisthegovernment,thelargecorporation,ortheArmy,thisabilitytoexpressoneselfisperhapsthemostimportantofalltheskillsamancanpossess。
这一段谈的是表达能力,它的重要性与职业,身份有关,从"notneedmuchskill"或"oflittleimportance"到"moreimportant",最后是"mostimportant"。
b。由一般到特殊排列(general-to-specificarrangement)
Ifareaderislost,itisgenerallybecausethewriterhasnotbeencarefulenoughtokeephimonthepath。Thiscarelessnesscantakeanynumberofforms。Perhapsasentenceissoexcessivelyclutteredthatthereader,hackinghiswaythroughtheverbiage,simplydoesn’tknowwhatitmeans。Perhapsasentencehasbeensoshoddilyconstructedthatthereadercouldreaditinanyofseveralways。Perhapsthewriterhasswitchedtenses,orhasswitchedpronounsinmid-sentence,sothereaderlosestrackofwhentheactiontookplaceorwhoistalking。PerhapssentenceBisnotlogicalsequeltosentenceA----thewriter,inwhoseheadtheconnectionisclear,hasnotbotheredtoprovidethemissinglink。Perhapsthewriterhasusedanimportantwordincorrectlybynottakingthetroubletolookitup。Hemaythinkthat"sanguine"and"sanguinary"meanthesamething,butthedifferenceisabloodybigone。Thereadercanonlyinferwhatthewriteristryingtoimply。
这一段谈的是awriter’scarelessness,先给出一个generalstatement作为主题句,然后通过5个"perhaps"加以例证。
c。由特殊到一般排列(specific-to-generalarrangement)
IdonotunderstandwhypeopleconfusemySiamesecat,Prissy,withtheoneIhadseveralyearsago,Henry。Thetwocatsareonlyalikeinbreed。Prissy,aquiet,femininefeline,lovesmedearlybutnotpossessively。Shelikestokeepherdistancefrompeople,exertherindependenceandisneversorudeastobeg,lick,orsniffunceremoniously。Herusualpostureissittingupright,eyesclosed,perfectlystill。Prissyisaverypropercat。Henry,ontheotherhand,lovedmedearlybutpossessively。Hewasmyshadowfrommorningtillnight。Heexpectedmetoconstantlyentertainhim。Henrynevercaredwhosawhimdoanything,whetheritwasdecorousornot,andheusuallyoffendedmyfriendsinsomeway。Thecatmadehimselfquitecomfortable,onthetopofthetelevision,acrossstranger’sfeetorlaps,inbeds,drawers,sacks,closets,ornooks。Thedifferencebetweenthemisimperceptibletostrangers。
本段的主题句是段首句,它仅提出一个问题:为什么两只猫会被搞混。然后对两者进行比较,末句才下结论。
2)形连
行文的逻辑性常常要靠适当的转换词语及其他手段来实现。请读下面这一段文字并找出文中用以承上启下的词语:
Walter’sgoalinlifewastobecomeasuccessfulsurgeon。First,though,hehadto
nbsp;getthroughhighschool,soheconcentratedallhiseffortsonhisstudies---inparticular,biology,chemistry,andmath。Becauseheworkedconstantlyonthesesubjects,Walterbecameproficientinthem;however,Walterforgotthatheneededtomasterothersubjectsbesidesthosehehadchosen。Asaresult,duringhisjunioryearofhighschool,WalterfailedbothEnglishandLatin。Consequently,hehadtorepeatthesesubjectsandhewasalmostunabletograduateonschedule。Finally,onJune6,Walterachievedthefirststeptowardrealizinghisgoal。
本文中起承上启下的词语有两种,一种是转换词语(transitionalwordsorphrases),另一种是起转换作用的其他连接手段(linkingdevices)。前者依次有:first,though,so,inparticular,and,because,however,besides,asaresult,both…and,consequently,and,finally。后者依次是:he,he,his,his,he,these,them,he,those,his,he,these,his。本段有词汇105个,所使用的转换词语及其他连接用语共26个词,约占该段总词汇量的四分之一。由此可见,掌握好transitions不仅对行文的流畅(smoothness)有益,而且对于学生在半个小时内写足四级短文所要求的120个词也是不无好处的。
一个段落里如果没有transitions也就很难有coherence了。我们看下面一个例子:Speakingandwritingaredifferentinmanyways。Speechdependsonsounds。Writinguseswrittensymbols。Speechdevelopedabout500000yearsago。Writtenlanguageisarecentdevelopment。Itwasinventedonlyaboutsixthousandyearsago。Speechisusuallyinformal。Thewordchoiceofwritingisoftenrelativelyformal。Pronunciationandaccentoftentellwherethespeakerisfrom。Pronunciationandaccentareignoredinwriting。Astandarddictionandspellingsystemprevailsinthewrittenlanguageofmostcountries。Speechreliesongesture,loudness,andriseandfallofthevoice。Writinglacksgesture,loudnessandtheriseandfallofthevoice。Carefulspeakersandwritersareawareofthedifferences。
本段中除了第6句开头出现一个起过渡作用的"it"之外,没有使用其他的过渡词语。这样,文中出现许多重复的词语,全段读起来也显得生硬而不自然。如果加上必要的过渡词语来修饰的话,这一段就成了下面一个流畅连贯的段落:
Speakingandwritingaredifferentinmanyways。Speechdependsonsounds;writing,ontheotherhand,useswrittensymbols。Speechwasdevelopedabout500000yearsago,butwrittenlanguageisarecentdevelopment,inventedonlyaboutsixthousandyearsago。Speechisusuallyinformal,whilethewordchoiceofwriting,bycontrast,isoftenrelativelyformal。Althoughpronunciationandaccentoftentellwherethespeakerisfrom,theyareignoredinwiringbecauseastandarddictionandspellingsystemprevailsinmostcountries。Speechreliesongesture,loudness,andtheriseandfallofthevoice,butwritinglacksthesefeatures。Carefulspeakersandwritersareawareofthedifferences。
4、有损连贯性的几种情况:
考生在写作中经常出现下面几种错误:
1)不必要的改变时态,比如:
Inthemovie,RobertRedfordwasaspy。Hegoestohisofficewherehefoundeverybodydead。Otherspieswantedtokillhim,sohetakesrefugewithJulieChristie。Atherhouse,hehadwaitedfortheheattodiedown,buttheycomeafterhimanyway。
2)不必要的改变单复数,比如:
Ever
ybodylooksforsatisfactioninhislife。Theywanttobehappy。Butifheseeksonlypleasureintheshortrun,thepersonwillsoonrunoutofpleasureandlifewillcatchuptohim。Theyneedtopursuethedeeperpleasureofsatisfactioninworkandinrelationships。
3)不必要的改变人称,比如:
Nowmorethanever,parentsneedtobeintouchwiththeirchildren’sactivitiesbecausemodernlifehasthetendencytocausecleavagesinthefamily。Youneedtoarrangefamilylikeitsothatfamilymemberswilldothingstogetherandknowoneanother。Youneedtogiveupisolatedpleasuresofyourownandrealizethatparentshaveasetofobligationstosponsortogethernessandthereforesponsorknowledge。
因此写作中,一定要注意时态,人称以及数的变化是否正确,要注意保持一致